Cheevyjames’ Musical Roundhouse

Released: 1989
Tracks: My Emaciated Heart; I’d Rather Be Lost; In My Family; Fish Sticks; Song For Our World; Burnwood; Lock of Your Hair; Big Stick; Vases & Shoes; Without a Doubt; 10-15
Best track: My Emaciated Heart
Track to skip: none

Twang really had an original sound and they still do. It’s all acoustic and pretty stripped-down, but the guys manage to make a lot of noise come out of those instruments. At this early stage (he was only 18) Garza was a DAMN good guitar player. He was on scholarship to UT for his guitar playing. The music on these songs is really impressive, while the lyrics are somewhat lacking. The songs are great, of course, but Garza hadn’t become the excellent lyricist that he is now. Still, all these songs are seriously fun and it’s impossible to not shake your ass while listening to this album.

Most of the songs are considered classics in certain circles (uh, mine), for instance My Emaciated Heart, I’d Rather Be Lost, Fish Sticks, Big Stick and others. This album, Twang’s debut, isn’t amazing quality but it sounds plenty good for enjoying. It was probably recorded in one of their bedrooms; it’s definitely not from a proper studio. So, the guys got a good sound from their 4 track. It’s really impossible to pick a best song because all of them have incredible life to them. They’re *all* great songs. Sure Fish Sticks, Burnwood & Big Stick are absurdly silly (also the Rush bit after Burnwood); the thing is, they are great songs. I’ll put My Emaciated Heart as the ‘best track’ simply because I never get sick of hearing it. Like all of Davíd Garza’s pre-CD albums, this is impossible to find. If you can either get it from the internet or get a copy from someone it’s highly recommended. Oh, and just to make sure I say it, this album (and band) just isn’t about Davíd Garza. Both Chris Searles and Jeff Haley are excellent players and equally important to Twang’s excellence.

Rating: 90

Released: 1989
Tracks: Le Dome; Late Nite; Softly; The Theme; I’ll Be Waiting; I’ll Cover You; Rain’s Comin’ Down; Smoke of the Revolution; Inner Circles; Steps; Blackened Bacon
Best track: The Theme
Tracks to skip: I would tend to skip the cheesier vocal numbers like Softly, I’ll Be Waiting, Rain’s Comin’ Down

If you know anything about Journey (other than “power ballads”) then you’ll know that Schon is a great guitar player and naturally his first solo album will have him playing great stuff all through it. He does some great stuff on here. I think my favorite part of the whole album is that one lick near the end of the title track. If you hear it you’ll know what I’m talking about. I’m obviously more partial to the instrumental tracks, but some of the vocal ones aren’t bad; I’ll Cover You for instance. Of course, his voice isn’t the greatest, but that’s not the focus of the album. His guitar playing is. And no, this isn’t an album of all guitar solos where he just shreds away like Yngwie Malmsteen or somebody. It’s all very tasteful and an essential part to the compositions. Going back to Marlette here, there are lots of keyboards on this album. For my tastes, it’s too much. It seems like Schon is always soloing over a keyboard bed. The keys are a bit too cheesy for me. The best song on here (besides the bit on Late Nite) is The Theme, which is pretty sweet. I think if you’re a fan of Neal Schon then you should pick up this album. It’s different from the smooth jazz tendencies of his later solo albums; lots more rock here. As a whole it’s not an amazing album, but it’s great to hear so much of his guitar playing.

Rating: 80

Released: 1984
Tracks: Aces High; 2 Minutes to Midnight; Losfer Words (Big ‘Orra); Flash of the Blade; The Duellists; Back in the Village; Powerslave; Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Best track: Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Track to skip: none

I’m sure a lot of confidence on this album comes from the success of their first headlining tour of the US the year before. Also, I’m sure it comes from the bond that the five of them created. See, this was the first Maiden album that had the same lineup as the one before. They found the right 2nd guitarist, the right singer and the right drummer and Iron Maiden solidified into this Power. Powerslave is the sound of one the best bands of the era stepping it up and putting out their best album (like I said, at the time).

I love all of these songs. As I’m typing right now, I’m just floored by Dave Murray’s incredible solo on the title track. All 5 of these guys were just at their best all over this album. The rest of the crew, too, was at their best. Check out Derek Riggs’s album cover, excellent (if you have the vinyl you’ll see some incredible detail). Martin Birch’s production? Holy crap, it’s PERFECT. I have rarely heard in my entire life an album that sounded this perfect. Just from a technical standpoint, the sound on Powerslave is mind blowing. Very few can compete with Martin Birch in producing/engineering/mixing. And then we get to these compositions. All excellent songs, with Rime of the Ancient Mariner (yes, based on the poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge; much to the annoyance of English teachers everywhere) being the best. Dare I say, the best thing Steve Harris had ever written (until 1988)? The middle section of Mariner is currently giving me the chills. No one writes music like this. I love this album!

Rating: 98

Released: 1974
Tracks: Red; Fallen Angel; One More Red Nightmare; Providence; Starless
Best track: Starless
Track to skip: none

Like the last album, we get all the best aspects of King Crimson on this album: powerful opening instrumental, nice ballad (Fallen Angel), live improv (Providence), & epic genre-breaking final track. Although I’ve become tired of hearing it live so much in the past few years, Red is a perfect album opener and the best since 21st Century Schizoid Man on the debut. It’s also a fun song to play as my first band covered it. I was seriously blown away first time I heard it. I really like both Fallen Angel and One More Red Nightmare (that cymbal!), but I’m not going to bother going into them. They’re just great, ya know? So, about Providence…I totally prefer this version to the extended one from Great Deceiver. Wetton’s bass is mixed a lot louder in this and his tone knocks me down. I want that tone. Very cool improv.

Oh my gosh I love Starless. It starts out so melancholy with that GORGEOUS melody, then goes into the biggest tension-fest (in 13/8!) ever with the release coming in the jazz destruction of the last bit and with MacDonald soloing like his life depended on it. Starless is the best Crimson song from these early incarnations, by far. What I really love about this track is how Fripp just *knew* that this was the last King Crimson album (it was, minus compilations, until 1981) and the band actually DIES at the end of Starless. I have no idea how to possibly convey the heaviness of this, but it’s true. At the end of the 12 minutes of Starless the music and the band itself just…die. It’s death, absolutely and positively. You hear it; it’s all there on the recording. It’s such an emotional experience to listen to this gorgeous song and eventually have it kill the band. That’s one of the many reasons why I love this album so much. The songs here are world class and overall it is just an amazing album.

Rating: 97

Released: 1967
Tracks: Magical Mystery Tour; The Fool on the Hill; Flying; Blue Jay Way; Your Mother Should Know; I Am the Walrus; Hello Goodbye; Strawberry Fields Forever; Penny Lane; Baby You’re a Rich Man; All You Need is Love
Best track: I Am the Walrus
Tracks to skip: Your Mother Should Know, Baby You’re a Rich Man

The explanation for the excellence of Strawberry Fields & Penny Lane is that they were the first things recorded after the Beatles stopped touring. They were the A/B sides of the single that preceded Sgt. Pepper. As for All You Need is Love, I think since it was a deliberately written special song (for the first world-wide satellite broadcast) John Lennon made a better effort than he had on the other songs recorded around this time. Speaking of that, John’s batch of post-Pepper contributions on here is surprisingly small. He did write the excellent …Love and the best-Beatles-song-ever I Am the Walrus, but other than that the rest of the ‘new’ songs on here are all McCartney’s: the title track, Fool on the Hill, Your Mother, Hello Goodbye & …Rich Man. So while Lennon was more or less absent during this time (*way* too much LSD for him) what he did produce was great. The remaining two songs, Flying and Blue Jay Way, are average but nothing special. Flying is nothing more than a psychedelic 12-bar blues attributed to the whole band and Blue Jay Way was Harrison’s only contribution to the album, though not a great one. I think Harrison was either too far into the LSD like Lennon was, or had his head still in India. Probably some of both. The other songs recorded during this time weren’t that hot either, as they ended up being extras on the Yellow Submarine soundtrack (All Together Now, It’s All Too Much, Only a Northern Song…songs not good enough for Pepper OR Magical Mystery Tour).

Once the band took their holiday/pilgrimage to India in early ’68, they recharged their collective batteries and regained their focus, which resulted in Hey Jude/Revolution and the White Album. For MMT as a whole it’s just an OK album. Just sort of meandering in this haze. Like I said earlier, a few of these songs are some of the best the band ever did. I Am the Walrus is easily the band’s best song ever, making a cool and catchy song out of absolute nonsense words and music that is the opposite of pop. That ‘radio’ break in the middle, and the following cello melody, are two of the strangest things to ever appear in a ‘pop’ song and yet, they fit so perfectly and elevate the song to the highest level. I still hear all these things in that one composition that just blow my mind every time I hear it. I do want to say, in regards to the whole album, that I don’t blame McCartney for the quality of this album. While his friends were just hanging out, he took control out of necessity and did the best he could. I wouldn’t expect *any* of them in 1967 to be able to carry an entire album virtually by themselves; so I don’t blame Paul, I blame all of them. And in the end (har), it’s not a bad album. It’s certainly better than With the Beatles & Beatles For Sale and honestly slightly better than Rubber Soul (yeah, more blasphemy), but it’s just not in the top group of albums the band ever did. Shame too, because their best songs are on here.

Rating: 83

Released: 1991
Tracks: Hey Stoopid; Love’s a Loaded Gun; Snake Bite; Burning Our Bed; Dangerous Tonight; Might as Well Be on Mars; Feed My Frankenstein; Hurricane Years; Little By Little; Die For You; Dirty Dreams; Wind-up Toy
Best track: Might as Well Be on Mars
Tracks to skip: Dirty Dreams

Of course Hey Stoopid is a great lead off track (and an anti-drug one too) as are all the rest of the ones on side 1. Dangerous Tonight reminds me of King Diamond, as does Might as Well Be on Mars. He’s kind of like a poppier version of King Diamond (in places). Speaking of Mars, that’s a great song. The verse riff is cool as hell. Feed My Frankenstein got some nice exposure due to being in Wayne’s World and even though it’s a ‘penis song’, it’s still pretty amusing. Steve Vai does a bizarre and extremely cool solo in it. Hurricane Years freakin’ rocks. A lot of the lyrical subject matter on this album is love/sex based, and it can get annoying after a while. I don’t really care for most of the song part of Die For You, but the chorus is good. Dirty Dreams is the only bad song on here. Once again it’s sexual (with that title? No, never!) and it’s just lame. I guess he had space to fill.

The album ends with a very different song. Odd. It seems to be about a kid who’s locked up in his room because he’s a tad hyper and has a vivid imagination. It’s kinda trippy. Good song though. Well, all in all I’m quite surprised I liked the album as much as I did. Face it, Alice Cooper is a good songwriter. It’s apparent to me now (well, still) why we listened to this so much back when it came out; it’s a good album.

Rating: 85

Released: 1994
Tracks: [1] Shoot all the Clowns (Remix); Tibet; Tears of the Dragon [alt.];
[2] Shoot all the Clowns (Extended Mix); Cadillac Gas Mask; No Way Out – Continued
Best track: Tibet
Tracks to skip: Extended Mix of Clowns, Cadillac Gas Mask

Disc 2 (single #2) starts off again with Clowns, this time in an extended version. It’s pretty useless and hearing it twice in 15 minutes is really annoying. I don’t like the extension of it. I mean, it’s a bad song anyway, so why would I want to hear more of it? Eh, it’s a skipper. Next comes a truly awful song, Cadillac Gas Mask. Yes, I know it’s an AC/DC ‘tribute’, but it’s just horrible. Plus I can’t stand AC/DC anyway! The problem with this song, besides being poorly written and annoying, is that it’s what AC/DC would sound like as a pop band…AC/DC without the balls. Possibly the worst song Bruce has ever written. Ugh. Part 2 of No Way Out is the last song on this disc. It’s definitely the redeeming part of this single. Pretty cool track. I love the ‘drowning man sees daylight’ part. That rocks. The good thing is that this track is available on Bruce’s Best Of Bonus Disc (a disc of B-sides and rarities) so you dorky collectors really don’t need to bother getting this 2nd single of Shoot all the Clowns (unless you’re *really* dorky!). I think the first disc is essential for collectors since both of the extra tracks kick ass and aren’t available anywhere else.

Ratings: Single #1 – 90, single #2 – 67

*****

In 2005 all of Bruce’s albums were remastered and reissued with a bonus disc of all B-sides associated with the particular album. Well now! This means that *all* of the B-sides for Balls to Picasso can now be found on the bonus disc and thus, you’ll get all of the Keith Olsen tracks…at least all the ones that were released. The bonus disc for Balls to Picasso has 16 tracks and this means that you no longer have to search out a million different singles to get all the tracks: they’re all on the Balls to Picasso Expanded Edition. Hooray!

Released: 1975
Tracks: Deuce; Strutter; Got to Choose; Hotter Than Hell; Firehouse; Nothin’ To Lose; C’mon and Love Me; Parasite; She; Watchin’ You; 100,000 Years; Black Diamond; Rock Bottom; Cold Gin; Rock and Roll All Nite; Let Me Go, Rock ‘N’ Roll
Best track: I have no clue…all of disc 1 rocks
Track to skip: FFWD through the drum solo and sing-along on 100,000 Years. Skip Rock Bottom too

There are now 4 different ‘alive’ Kiss albums and this is still the best one. *Nearly* all of the band’s best early songs are here (Love Her All I Can is surprisingly absent) and they’re played much better than the studio versions. The first disc in particular is near perfect with every song sounding great. Of course most of these songs on the first disc are classics, so naturally they’ll all be great. I noticed in Nothin’ to Lose they add some more stuff to the middle section and that improves the track (not to mention the absence of the piano). Ace’s guitar solo in She is short (a rarity if you’ve seen them in concert or heard Alive 2) so that’s nice. Overall the first disc is the meat of this thing. Things do kinda falter on the second disc, esp. with the extension of 100,000 Years and coulda-been-a-Spinal-Tap-song, Rock Bottom. 100,000 Years on its own a damn good song, and this version is excellent, but once they do the idiotic drum solo and the stupid sing-along bit it gets really bad. Peter Criss’ voice on Black Diamond is so bad it’s funny, but the rest of the track is pretty good. The other bad thing about this disc is the outright horrible in-between song banters that Paul Stanley does. He comes across as extremely gay (on purpose, I think) and then launches into songs about getting laid by girls. Or maybe that’s Gene always singing about the girls?

Anyway, all in all this is good album. It still stands up, almost 30 years later. Like I said, the first disc is all solid (I totaled up the times on this album and they could’ve easily put it all on one disc. Both discs together are only 78 minutes. That’s really annoying.) and while the 2nd disc is lacking a bit, Cold Gin and RNR All Nite really help it out. If you’re interested in Kiss then this album is absolutely essential.

Rating: 87

Released: 1994
Tracks: Cyclops; Hell No; Gods of War; 1000 Points of Light; Laughing in the Hiding Bush; Change of Heart; Shoot all the Clowns; Fire; Sacred Cowboys; Tears of the Dragon
Best track: Tears of the Dragon
Tracks to skip: Gods of War, 1000 Points of Light, Shoot all the Clowns

I think what bores me the most are the songs themselves. Most of the songs have de-tuned guitars and it kinda turns everything into a strange mixture of grunge and metal with a whole lot of seriousness about it. There’s just an air on this album of aloofness. It’s hard to really explain; Bruce just seems detached from the whole thing. Like he’s not really trying. It’s not the band’s fault at all; they’re just fine on here (though they are many times better on Accident of Birth and Chemical Wedding). For Balls to Picasso, Bruce picked up a new backing group, an L.A. band called Tribe of Gypsies. Guitarist Roy Z hit it off with Bruce and was his main songwriting partner on and off until Bruce rejoined Maiden in 1999. So I guess I can blame some of the compositional boredom on Roy.

I’m ‘officially’ skipping Gods of War, 1000 Points of Light & Shoot all the Clowns, but the reality is that those tracks are just the worst of the lot and I actually skip everything between Cyclops and Tears of the Dragon. I know Clowns is just a silly song, but I really don’t want to hear Bruce Dickinson ‘rap’. I can live without that. Cyclops is a cool song and actually got some mild radio play here in Dallas, but the most important thing here, as well as the reason for the album’s existence, is Tears of the Dragon. I’ve always loved the song, but initially I was almost hurt by the lyrics, as it’s a direct jab at Maiden and Steve Harris in particular. Of course now I can see it more from Bruce’s side and he absolutely made the right decision to leave Maiden. Maiden had become kinda lame in 1992 and (hindsight here) Bruce’s departure not only saved and rejuvenated Bruce’s music, but Maiden’s as well. Natch Maiden wouldn’t get redeemed until Bruce’s return in 1999. Anyway, about Tears of the Dragon…this is a seriously good song and Bruce sings his ass off. In some sort of way, it’s a ‘part 2’ of Wasting Love. Both deal with Bruce’s thoughts on leaving Iron Maiden, one saying he needed to and one further explaining why he did. It’s wonderful to not only get that insight as to how Bruce (or any singer/songwriter) works, but also you see how human he is in these lyrics. You never, ever hear lead singers explicitly say why they left the group that made them famous. I have a lot of respect for Bruce Dickinson and the existence of Tears of the Dragon justifies all this. And it really doesn’t even matter that Bruce made a bad album here. Tears of the Dragon came out and he could get past all that and make some absolutely killer albums that blew the contemporary Iron Maiden albums out of the water.

So, yeah, there really are only two good songs on here. You can get Tears on the Best of CD, but Cyclops is only on here. Plus, I think you (me, we, all of us) need to hear all the lame stuff before Tears of the Dragon comes on at the end of the disc and essentially wakes Bruce up. Tears is excellent, but the album as a whole is far from it.

Rating: 76

*****

In 2005 all of Bruce’s albums were remastered and reissued with a bonus disc of all B-sides associated with the particular album. Well now! This means that *all* of the B-sides can now be found on the bonus disc and thus, you’ll get all of the Keith Olsen tracks…at least all the ones that were released. The bonus disc for Balls to Picasso has 16 tracks and for me personally a few that I hadn’t heard (you know, they were released on exclusive 7″ singles and stuff). There were some dang good B-sides for this album (see my reviews of the singles 1 2) so this one is a bit more desirable that just the album proper.

Released: 1975
Tracks: Debra Kadabra; Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy; Sam With the Showing Scalp Flat Top; Poofter’s Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead; 200 Years Old; Cucamonga; Advance Romance; Man With the Woman Head; Muffin Man
Best track: Muffin Man
Tracks to skip: 200 Years Old, Cucamonga

Sometimes I don’t know what to think about it. It certainly doesn’t feel like a cohesive album. It’s just kinda thrown together in places. The 2 Beefheart-penned tracks, Sam… and Man with the Woman Head, are basically spoken word things with the band improvising behind the Captain. I don’t always listen to them, but they’re interesting. It’s amusing when Zappa inserts the Louie Louie riff in the middle of Sam as he does at hundreds of points in his catalog. Both of the tracks I always skip, 200 Years Old and Cucamonga, are the sole studio tracks recorded with the OSFA group without Ruth. These are presumably some of the tracks that were to be on the OSFA follow up (as Zappa mentioned in that album’s liner notes) as well as some of the tracks on Sleep Dirt and Studio Tan. I really don’t like either of these songs. Cucamonga has a nice story behind it, but the song itself it pretty bad. Poofter’s is a decent song and Debra Kadabra is good, but the structure on it is all over the map. I’ve grown to like it though.

So, you have a bunch of ‘iffy’ material and then you have 3 absolutely kick ass, classic and amazing tracks in Carolina Hard-core Ecstasy, Advance Romance and Muffin Man. The guitar solo in Carolina is excellent, as is Zappa’s bluesy one in Advance Romance, but THE moment of this album is Zappa’s solo in Muffin Man. In my opinion, this is the moment that Frank Zappa ceases to be a good guitar player and becomes an EXCELLENT guitar player. It has a great riff, some amusing lyrics, but the solo is so meaty. I love listening to it. It’s true you can get Muffin Man on the ‘best of’ Strictly Commercial, but this album is essential for Carolina and Advance Romance. These three compositions totally justify all the not so great stuff on here. Like I said, it’s a strange album, but all in all it’s pretty enjoyable. Oh, and Zappa’s vocal outro on Muffin Man is classic.

Rating: 86